Jesus: Treasure in Disguise

This life is so mundane and boring sometimes.... I feel like I need to go somewhere else and stay away for a while. I think about my time in the Corps and I reminisce on all the fucked up times.... I remember asking myself time and time again, "When is this shit going to end?!?", while wishing I was back home. Now that I have returned home, I am pretty disappointed in how things have become. It's almost as if there is nothing to look foward to these days; so much ignorance around me that sometimes I wonder why I am even struggling, trying to hold down an apartment and go to college when my calling just might be the Marine Corps or special forces.... maybe there is something out here that I am waiting for and I dont quite know it yet. God sure isnt really giving me anything to work with here so its as if I have to figure it out on my own.

I remember how we were always on our toes in the Corps, and there really wasnt a waking moment where we werent getting yelled at or reminded of how worthless we were and the ever-present reality that our intestinal fortitude was always on the line. This was THE LIFE and you really dont recognize this kind of thing until you lose it. But wait.... what if God wants me here for a different purpose....what if He has a plan for me that I dont know about yet, and He is just waiting for the perfect time to reveal it to me? Well I can honestly say that if that is the case, I cant think of a better time for Him to reveal it to me than now....... or maybe I just feel this way because of what happened to my family; maybe I wish things were back to how they used to be.... Well things change! And for me to feel that way would be naive and ignorant, and we can't have that, now can we? That is not how the Marine Corps taught me to be; no, they cannot tolerate such ignorance or stupidity and they refuse to baby anyone who has some sort of sentimental or childish notion that they should be happy all the time and things should feel good. No, things don't happen that way, and for me to think otherwise would be rediculous and unrealistic.

People should be taken out of their comfort circle every now and then, just to be reminded that you can lose everything at any given moment, so you should be very carefull not to take anything for granted and to appreciate it to the fullest.... or you can learn from the Marines and live outside your comfort circle 90% of the time.... see how well you cope with that reality.... only its not a reality, but a learning tool; a fraction of your inner thoughts that you hold within and keep to yourself for fear of losing your touch with reality, and you know that the thought of losing everything is too hard for you to bare. You would think that things we take for granted are not really worth having since we fail to realize their worth and therefore we have already made them worthless; an item to toss to the next person in hopes that he or she might treasure what we have just written off as useless.... yet after we realize what we have lost, only then do we want it back, because that very thing that we thought was useless has just become priceless, and only then do we see the true worth and beauty in whatever it is. Do we have things in our lives and past that we have experienced this with? I know I sure do.... how about in history?

Was there something, or someone great, someone everyone passed off as "useless", or "worthless", or viewed as a burden and tossed aside, only to find out that the very person the world let go of was worth more than every age and wonder in exsitence, and that this person; this Man, was the one thing the world had been waiting for.... And more than 2,000 years later we still sing of His worth and pricelessness and praise His name.... For we had no idea that the carpenter that was born in a pile of straw, who was poor and nothing to look upon, the one that we wanted to do away with because He had challenged the authorities of His day, this very man that we wanted gone was the one who we will bow down to in the coming age and the One with whom price has no relevance; the One whom we cannot buy, no matter what we do. Think about that. Assholes.