Want a Friend? Don't Call Me
What is friendship? Why do we flock to our friends? That is the question. I was in philosophy class today and we were learning about the virtues of friendships and what makes people alike and what we have in common with eachother. I was thinking about how this relates directly to my life today, and it forced me to ponder on my relationships with others today. The reason, we learned, that people develop strong concrete relationships with eachother, is because they have something in common. I have spent the past 4-1/2 years in the Marine Corps and I would be delusional to pretend that I havent changed as far as how I deal with relationships. I am guilty of disassociation when it comes to a few select past relationships.
I have been taught the true art of disengaging in many elements of life. When I feel that it would be more healthy for me to NOT have someone in my life, even though I might love that person or feel drawn to them, I choose to withdrawl and eliminate my relationship with them. This is so that my emotions do not compromise my reason for doing things. This has been trained into me by the Marine Corps. Through the Corps I have become this personification of independence from many things that anyone else would rely on for survival. I like to call it my "Process of Elimination". An old friend once told me that [friends] use eachother for companionship.... They "use" eachother. Moreover, WE use eachother. Did you ever think about the many times you are sitting in your car at the stoplight? Look at the many people that are around you in their cars as well. Who are these people? These people have lives, families, friends, and careers just like you do. Yet you will most likely never talk to any of these people or even see them again, for that matter. In fact, once that light turns green and you turn the corner or they disappear from your sight, that is the end of what you might ever see of them. Why does this not bother anyone? Are we not social creatures?
People depend on eachother for survival.... with that being said, I find that I am very different from most people when I deal with relationships. This revelation did not just come to me, like when one has an epiphany. This actually dawned on me one night about a week ago..... I was on a date with this girl I had met at school, and after we had been out for a while, she told me that I was like no other guy she has ever met. She told me that she is used to meeting the typical assholes who have a very common, predicatable way of doing things and how they treat her. She told me that I had none of those predictable qualities and that she was not used to that. This made me think. I have questioned, at times in the past, why I treat my friendships so lightly. I have some good solid relationships with other guys, yet they even dont understand my ways at times. I am part of a different breed. Marines are not like other people. They do not posess a home from where they come from once they enter into the Secret Elite. Their home is the Marine Corps. My home is the Corps as well, and it always has been. I am just out here to observe this "civilian" way of life. I think I exercise my "Process of Elimination" only when I feel it is extremely necessary, and I know that not too many people understand this, but that is what makes me who I am, just like every other Marine. That is my purpose, it is my lot in life, and I have to decide what I will do with this purpose. As I learn more, I will understand more of what I am to become of my life. That will be the day I find myself.
"I am, what I am." -Popeye
